Sunday, January 15, 2012

Bloody Monday - Dance of the Damned (1989)

Dance of the Damned might be one of the worst vampire movies I've ever seen, if by "worst" you're talking poor video and terrible sound quality.

Seriously, darlings.

And yet... it's one of my favorite vampire stories of all time. The vampire, played by Cyril O'Reilly, as far as I know doesn't even have a name. It's a dark and strange film, characterized by dark and strange characters.

Here's the trailer:

A suicidal stripper (Starr Andreef), a despondent vampire - a fair premise for a vampire story, sure, but not exactly inspiring.

And yet - it's my kind of story, really. The interactions between the two of them, Jodi and the Vampire, make up pretty much the entire film, and the focus is on emotion and dialogue, so in that respect the poor film quality doesn't even matter.

It starts out softly enough:

The Vampire is lingering outside while Jodi the suicidal stripper locks up the club. He startles her, says, "I have money."

She says, "I'm not a hooker. Do you think I'd work my butt off for five hundred bucks a week if I could make it in a night?"

The Vampire says,  "I think you're lonely and it's been a bad night. I wanna talk to you. I haven't talked to anybody in a long time."

But shortly after getting Jodi into his house, the Vampire tells her he's not human, and their relationship starts getting violent.

You can watch the whole movie in 5 - 10 minute increments on YouTube, starting here, with Part 1.

I'm not sure if I should admit to having done this but... I have done this. Twice, actually, because I can't find the film anywhere else.

One of my favorite lines is when the Vampire says, "The night belongs to the day it followed. See? (pulls out tv guide)  The next day starts at five in the morning. Look, if you stay up late Saturday night, fall asleep at 2 am, you don't say you went to bed early Sunday morning, you say you were up late Saturday night. Get your jacket. I'll get mine."

Okay, it sounds totally cheesy, but Jodi kidnapped her son sometime in the past, and isn't allowed to see him anymore. At this point her and the Vampire have developed a sort of mutual compassion for one another, so the Vampire takes Jodi to see her son.

Afterward, she takes him to the beach and turns on a huge searchlight, and the line is, "You gave me my son, now I'll give you yours." (Because earlier in the night he was badgering her to tell him about the daytime sun.)

And this is all cheesy, too, and I can't possibly explain it, but it works.

Even the fangs work for me.

So, has anyone in the world seen this movie besides me? And liked it, I mean?


  1. No, I haven't seen this! And I just looked in a bunch of places and can't find it, either. Unfortunately, streaming is really difficult where I live, the bandwidth just isn't good enough, so I might have to wait to see it...but it sounds intriguing!

  2. It's hard to find - the only place I could find it was in segments on YouTube. I had it on VHS years ago, but a co-worker borrowed it from me - and recorded porn over it. Man, was I ticked off!

  3. I'm going to close out Friday with another excerpt - V = Vampire, J = Jodi

    V: Six.

    J: What?

    V: Dawn. It's at six o'clock.

    J: Can't you take some kind of animal? A dog or a horse? Why me?

    V: The blood of animals is incomplete, it lacks your spirit, your soul. Look, I rarely feed, and when I do, I only take the ones who've given up. I wanna talk about the day.

    J: What do you want to know?

    V: How it feels.

    J: It doesn't feel like anything.

    V: the sunlight on your skin.

    J: Hot.

    V: That's not what I'm asking! What does it look like?

    J: What?

    V: The sun.

    J: (frustrated) You can't look at it, it's too bright!

    V: You're of the sun, you've felt it a thousand times, I've never felt it. Tell me!

    J: (talking fast) I was in Palm Springs, and the air felt thick, and I lay down in the grass and it felt so hot that I thought the sun was hugging me.

    V: groan, like he's in pain.

    J: lights a cigarette. Looks for an ashtray, because he's staring at her.

    V: Go ahead. The rain.

    J: It rains at night. What do you want? Rainbows? You picked the wrong girl. I'm like you, I sleep all day. If I happen to get up it's because, because the neighbor's running his goddamn blower. You want me to give you the day? I can't. I don’t think about it, I don’t give a shit about it, I just try to get through it. So do you do this often? Kidnap someone?

    V: Humans are cattle. I could take you right now.

    J; Six o'clock, you said six o'clock. You want me to talk, I'll talk. Come on, ask me something I know the answer to.

    V: What does it feel like to have a friend?

    J: I don't have any.

    Does some weird thing with his fingers to bespell her. He releases her she flees to a different part of the house. He follows.

    J: I don't get close to people. The only person I hang out with his this girl, LaDonna, she's crazy. It's not like real friendship. Sometimes she's there when I need a hug.

    She turns and he's behind her, and he approaches her slowly, carefully, puts an arm around her and hugs her tight. She hugs him back. He pushes her away, holds her at arms length, then lifts her to sit her on a mantle or ledge of some kind.

    J: What do you want? I'm afraid to die.

    V: (boosts himself up next to her) There won't be any pain. Our hearts beat, yours strong, mine weak, yours fighting, beating harder, pulling mine faster, until, for a moment, we're synchronized, and as your life begins to fill mine, you'll know peace. While I begin to hunger again and again forever.

    She gasps and jumps off the mantle, and goes across the room. Picks up a pair of scissors. He takes them away.

    J: Why'd you let me shoot you?

    V: So you could see how hopeless it is.

  4. I have been absent for a while, but now I remember why I used to love this blog. Thanks , I will try and check back more frequently. How frequently you update your site?
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    1. Hi Richard, welcome back! I try really hard to update 3 times a week. Sunday I post a new installment to my serial story, A Year of Sundays. Monday I post a vampire topic (which I'd love to discuss in comments all week long), and Thursday Morning Coffee I feature fiction, mine or other people's. Thanks a bunch for stopping by!