Dance of the Damned might be one of the worst vampire movies I've ever seen, if by "worst" you're talking poor video and terrible sound quality.
And yet... it's one of my favorite vampire stories of all time. The vampire, played by Cyril O'Reilly, as far as I know doesn't even have a name. It's a dark and strange film, characterized by dark and strange characters.
Here's the trailer:
A suicidal stripper (Starr Andreef), a despondent vampire - a fair premise for a vampire story, sure, but not exactly inspiring.
And yet - it's my kind of story, really. The interactions between the two of them, Jodi and the Vampire, make up pretty much the entire film, and the focus is on emotion and dialogue, so in that respect the poor film quality doesn't even matter.
It starts out softly enough:
The Vampire is lingering outside while Jodi the suicidal stripper locks up the club. He startles her, says, "I have money."
She says, "I'm not a hooker. Do you think I'd work my butt off for five hundred bucks a week if I could make it in a night?"
The Vampire says, "I think you're lonely and it's been a bad night. I wanna talk to you. I haven't talked to anybody in a long time."
But shortly after getting Jodi into his house, the Vampire tells her he's not human, and their relationship starts getting violent.
You can watch the whole movie in 5 - 10 minute increments on YouTube, starting here, with Part 1.
I'm not sure if I should admit to having done this but... I have done this. Twice, actually, because I can't find the film anywhere else.
One of my favorite lines is when the Vampire says, "The night belongs to the day it followed. See? (pulls out tv guide) The next day starts at five in the morning. Look, if you stay up late Saturday night, fall asleep at 2 am, you don't say you went to bed early Sunday morning, you say you were up late Saturday night. Get your jacket. I'll get mine."
Okay, it sounds totally cheesy, but Jodi kidnapped her son sometime in the past, and isn't allowed to see him anymore. At this point her and the Vampire have developed a sort of mutual compassion for one another, so the Vampire takes Jodi to see her son.
Afterward, she takes him to the beach and turns on a huge searchlight, and the line is, "You gave me my son, now I'll give you yours." (Because earlier in the night he was badgering her to tell him about the daytime sun.)
And this is all cheesy, too, and I can't possibly explain it, but it works.
Even the fangs work for me.
So, has anyone in the world seen this movie besides me? And liked it, I mean?