Friday, January 11, 2013

SM Johnson ~Guest Post ~ Advice from a Lizard

Maggie Lee’s anole lizard, Godzilla, or God for short, has an opinion on everything. Here he shares some of his thoughts.

   1)     Practice Safe Sex. You should never have sex when you have a gun under your mattress.
   2)     Kissing is disgusting. (Male anole lizards prefer to bite the back of the neck of the female he chooses to mate with.)
   3)     Clean eating is best.  Live crickets are preferable to processed food (i.e. freeze-dried crickets).
   4)     Exercise is overrated. Watch more TV…preferably Wheel of Fortune.
   5)     When in doubt, ask God. He knows everything.

 Thanks for the advice, God!

God is a hysterically funny character in JB Lynn's Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman series, I've read the first book, and am planning to read book 2, Further Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman as soon as I can get to it. Confessions is neither vampire nor erotica, but still a really fun read.

Amazon  Nook
Book 1: Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman

Maggie Lee is not your average hitwoman. For one thing, she's never killed anyone. For another, after hitting her head in the car accident that killed her sister, her new best friend is a talking lizard--a picky eater, obsessed with "Wheel of Fortune," that only Maggie can hear.Maggie, who can barely take care of herself, is desperate to help her injured and orphaned niece get the best medical care possible, so she reluctantly accepts a mobster's lucrative job offer: major cash to kill his monstrous son-in-law.

Paired with Patrick Mulligan, a charming murder mentor (who happens to moonlight as a police detective), Maggie stumbles down her new career path, contending with self-doubt, three meddling aunts, a semi-psychic friend predicting her doom, and a day job she hates. Oh, and let's not forget about Paul Kowalski, the sexy beat cop who could throw her ass in jail if he finds out what she's up to.

Training has never been so complicated And, this time, Maggie has to get the job done. Because if she doesn't . . . she's the mob's next target
Book 2: Further Confessions of Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman

Take three wacky aunts, two talking animals, one nervous bride, and an upcoming hit, and you've got the follow-up to JB Lynn's wickedly funny Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman

Knocking off a drug kingpin was the last thing on Maggie Lee's to-do list, but when a tragic accident leaves her beloved niece orphaned and in the hospital, Maggie will go to desperate lengths to land the money needed for her care.

But the drug kingpin is the least of her worries. Maggie's aunts are driving her crazy, her best friend's turned into a bridezilla…and a knock on the head has given Maggie Dr. Dolittle abilities—she can talk to animals. Unfortunately, they talk back.

It's just another day in the life of this neurotic hitwoman…

You can also buy these books from IndieBound.

About the Author:
Besides being a writer, JB Lynn is a compulsive reader, a runner (of sorts), an enthusiastic cook (who doesn't get the appeal of the Food Network), and someone who has an irresistible urge to eavesdrop at all times.

JB has a great love of her husband, dogs, coffee, purple ink, spiral notebooks, running gear, hot showers, and '80s music. Given enough time, all of these things will eventually show up in her books.

There's a blog tour going on, so for more about JB Lynn, Maggie Lee and Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman, come and join the tour!


Jan. 7 Modokker Book Picks Character Guest Post
Jan. 8 Alchemy of Scrawl Character Guest Post
Jan. 9 Bunny's Reviews Author Guest Post
Jan. 10 Jess Resides Here Interview
Jan. 11 SM Johnson Writes http://smjbookteasers.blogspot.comPost from Godzilla
Jan. 12 Living, Learning, and Loving Life Author Guest Post
Jan. 13 Mom with a Kindle http://momwithakindle.blogspot.comCharacter Guest Post
Jan. 14 Alli's Worl Review and Character Guest Post
Jan. 15 Keeping Up with the Rheinlander's Review and Character Guest Post

Live Chat at Goodreads Jan. 10:

Tour's Pinterest Board

Social Media Links:

Buy Links:
Book 1

Book 2


  1. I'm so glad you enjoyed the first book! God, as usual, has a big role to play in the second book too. Thanks so much for having me!

  2. Hi JB - oooh, yes! I thought Confessions was a really fun, quirky read. Always excited to read something good that's a little bit different from everything else out there. Confessions fits the bill nicely! Have a great blog tour!