Thursday, May 16, 2013

SM Johnson ~Thursday Morning Coffee ~ F*ck OFF, homophobia

click for HAHAT blog hop
Well, now, I received a reminder that I'd signed up to write a blog post for the 2013 Hop Against Homophobia and Transphobia, and it's on a Thursday, and how convenient is that? Pretty fucking convenient, I'd say, since I had not a blog topic in mind because my brain is already imbibing alcohol on Bourbon Street, waiting for my body to catch up... (she says, as if she EVER has a topic outlined with neat bullet points or hashtags or whatever prepared in advance. Ha. Who's blog did you think you were visiting?)

Good morning, Darlings, and welcome to Trans Modified Cadets... er... Tripps Modeling Calves (Tripps being pants, calves being legs, get it, get it? No? Aw shit, never mind). Okay, okay, right again, this is your regularly scheduled Thursday Morning Coffee broadcast.

Welcome. We love you here. Well, I love you. I don't even know who the "we" would be. Voices in my head, perhaps,  or the "rest" of me.

International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia is May 17th. (Which, should, by my best scientific calculation, be today). [Hee - go ahead, laugh at me, total date FAIL]

So. I signed up to participate in this Blog Hop for a good cause. Which is cool, yeah, and I'm in like Flynn and all of that, but seriously - could we come up with a better NAME, for fuck's sake? Because really, who comes up with this? As if Hop isn't already gay... (sorry, but you KNOW any "hop" against anything just sounds totally gay - and yeah, I'm married to a guy, but I'm STILL queer so I get to say it out loud and fuck you). We need to fix this name business. Seriously. Not that I don't think fucking like bunnies in the name of destroying hate is a fucking GENIUS idea - I do. Truly. I mean, if people even KNEW how awesomely hot gay sex was, we really wouldn't even be having this discussion, would we?

Yeah - try that on for size, straight people. You know how they used to say, "Once you go black, you never - " Okay, never mind. Bad example. We don't want to be racist while we Kick Ass and Fuck You All Over Homophobia and Transphobia. [Okay, that title is perhaps slightly too long]. We could simplify it, like I did for this blog title - Fuck OFF, Homophobia.

Except I didn't get the Transphobia part in there, did I? Well, shit. There's always a glitch somewhere.

Sigh. I don't know why they have to be commemorated all in the same day (or hop) in the first place. I mean homophobia is the one thing [a range of negative attitudes and feelings toward homosexuals] and transphobia, is a whole different thing, [a range of negative attitudes and feelings toward people who's internal gender identity doesn't match their external, or physical (or birth), gender assignment].

Of course, what they DO have in common is that there are plenty ignorant (and arrogant) assholes in the world who just can't seem to MIND THEIR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS IN OTHER PEOPLE'S BEDROOMS OR WHAT HAPPENS TO BE BETWEEN SOMEONE ELSE'S LEGS.

We live in a perverted society. It's a fact. (No, I didn't make it that way - sheesh, don't give me so much credit).

Back in my high school days, the perverts scoured rock music lyrics, immersing themselves in the evil so they could scream about the evil, the same as those people "educating themselves about porn" do. If you're going to spend HOURS of your life searching for porn and watching porn and talking about porn, there must be some perverse pleasure involved. Hey, let's not think about pink elephants, 'kay? No, no, pink elephants are BAD, don't think about them. Thinking about them gives them POWER over you.

Oh! Sorry, lost my topic there. Let me scroll up and see if I can find it again...

Perverted society - that's it. If we weren't, no one would CARE what happens in other people's bedrooms or what kind of plumbing exists between someone else's legs. It would be private. It would be not our business who sleeps with whom or who marries whom (btw - WOOT! I would like to take a moment here to give a huge shout-out to my home state, MN, for LEGALIZING gay marriage on MAY 13, 2013 - You GO, girl. I am PROUD to be MN born and raised).

Okay. To address the whole homophobia thing - Ya'all have heard of the Kinsey Scale, yes? It's like... a continuum of sexuality/sexual behavior blah blah blah. 0 on the left is utterly heterosexual, and 6 on the right is utterly homosexual. Most people fall somewhere in between. Which means... if the last person on earth besides yourself was a man, or even your twin brother, or, hell forbid, your childhood bully... you'd probably do him/her regardless of whatever sexual orientation you've claimed until this point. And yes, you'd find yourself physically capable. And probably enjoy it. Barring... you know, starvation or whatever.

I would plant myself at a solid 2, I think. I love my husband, but wouldn't necessarily kick a girl out of my bed (pretty sure I've said this before)... though it really depends on the girl.

Ten Ways Homophobia Affect Straight People

The Transphobic piece - you know, I probably don't "get it" much more than your average person does. I'd be the same me inside my head even if I changed my gender assignment, so I still would never escape myself. I had a brief period in... oh, 7th grade, maybe, when I thought how nice it would be to be a boy instead of a girl. But this was fleeting, and obviously NOT the kind of deep-seated gender discrepancy that Trans people experience. So imagine yourself trapped in a body that's all wrong, that doesn't at match WHO YOUR ARE - much more a medical problem than a psychological one.

Be aware that Trans people are not necessarily gay, although some may identify as gay... And please, please, please get this, too - if you feel confused about whether to address a Trans person as he/she Mr/Miss/Sir/Ma'am - there's an incredibly SIMPLE guideline...

Address the person using the gender identity that they are presenting to you. Don't worry about physiology (it's generally none of your business, anyway). If a person presents as male, address them as you would a male. If presenting as female, address as female. See? Easy and respectful and kind, all in one fell swoop.

A really great resource for Transgender information is Matt Kailey's blog, Tranifesto. I've spent hours browsing his blog (seeking information and education) and he's absolutely GREAT at explaining gender dysphoria, and his followers often make extensive and sometimes contradictory contributions to the discussion. You can even submit specific questions to Ask Matt - I have - and he answered (with a blog post) within just a few days.

Stop being scared. Gay people and Trans people are ultimately just... people. Some are assholes, some are not. They hurt and cry and bleed. They get hungry, angry, lonely, and tired. The gamut of emotion, the gamut of the trials and joys of living on this earth belong to ALL OF US - and often we are not all that much different from each other.

So how about this:

Stop sucking, people. I mean, how freaking hard is it to just be kind as you move about this earth space we all share? You'll never like everyone, and why should you? And honestly, if you're a ZERO on the Kinsey scale, the guy who's a SIX isn't interested in you anyway. Get over yourself and get a clue.

Hang out with people you like, and don't hang out with people you don't. It's pretty simple, really. There's no reason to be a jerk.

Just because it's awesome, here's a link to the It Gets Better Project, started by writer Dan Savage:

It Gets Better project.

So now I'm supposed to offer a PRIZE. Ha, and you think I didn't know you read through all my drivel specifically in order to get to the PRIZE part where you can win one one of my books. I'm savvy about these things.

Well, okay. Here's the deal. I'm going to make you work for it.

Yep. I'm not going to make you follow my blog or follow me on Twitter @SMJohnsonWrites, or repost my links or like my FB fan page, SM Johnson Writes . Nope.

What I need from you is this - Visit Matt Kailey's Blog or the It Gets Better Project.... and leave me a comment about something you saw on either site. And don't forget to leave me some way to contact you, either in your comment or by emailing a copy of your comment to DeVante9901 at aol dot com.

Then I'll either draw names out of a hat for a free ebook of mine... or offer one to everybody - since I hate to leave anyone out. I'll even let you choose which one you want. Because this is one area (there aren't many, sadly) in which I have the power of SM on my side. (Grin).

Now... spread the message - everyone go forth and fuck like bunnies and stamp out hate. Because hate sucks.


  1. PS - I'll be out of town, so won't be contacting winners until Oh.... between May 30 and June 1.

  2. Thanks for taking part ^.^

    ""hop" against anything just sounds totally gay"

    Haha, I hadn't even thought of that! Please excuse my virgin mind...

    I think I'm a 1 on the Kinsey scale.

    I love the It Gets Better Project. It was a great idea. Hmm...something from their page? How about this little bit from the Twitter feed:

    "BETTER_LEGAL Transgender people in #HONGKONG win the right to marry based on their gender identity! HUFFINGTONPOST.COM/2013/05/13/HON…

    The world is getting better, little by little (hey, I'm an optimist ;)).

    Erica Pike
    eripike at gmail dot com

  3. You're right - the world IS getting better. I'm just snarky in general sometimes, don't take offense to my teasing of the Hop name. Honest.

  4. Thank you for taking part in the hop! And thanks for the link to Matt's blog. I had lost it at some point, so it's nice to catch up. The issues of transitioning, dealing with either acceptance or rejection when becoming the gender you were meant to be, is hard to deal with, but something that many have to face every day. I wish transphobia didn't exist, but until that day we must push forward and change the tide of hatred one person at a time.

  5. Thanks for participating in the hop!


  6. Thank you for taking part in the hop!

  7. I didn't know about Matt Kailey before today, but he wrote TEENY WEENIES AND OTHER SHORT SUBJECTS.


  8. Went to the It Gets Better Project and checked out the blog since videos aren't a good idea (still at work, shhh). And found several things that made me laugh, hopefully that was the intent because a little laughter never hurt.

    cojazzchick AT yahoo DOT com

  9. I have to admit I'd never heard of Matt, but the blog is fricken awesome "Do I owe my parents grandchildren was a very good read.

    ps: I joined your blog followers anyway.

  10. I visited the It Gets Better Project webpage and found out that the founders created the project in response to several student committing suicide because of bullying.

    Thank you for the opportunity to win and participating in the hop

  11. I love the It Gets Better Project. I think that this was such a wonderful sight. I think that one of my favorite videos is once that was posted by the Lutheran Church. It is not the most personal video on the sight, but I love that it spreads a message of open acceptance and is from an organization that is not known for its open mind.

    Thank you for doing the hop!


  12. I was pleased an surprised to see that there is a copy of the It Gets Better book in my local high school. Loved your snarky post.

  13. I've never heard of Matt Kailey before so I thought I'll give his blog a try and ran came across his "Ask Matt: Life Insurance for Trans People" post. The questions he posed were thought provoking and not something I gave much thought to, heck I wasn't aware that trans might be considered at higher risk for life insurance than a non-trans person.

    Thank you for taking part in the hop and for the good chuckles your wonderful post provided.

    humhumbum AT yahoo DOT com

  14. This post is so full of angerjoy, humorage, and funnypissedoffness. Thank you! I did not know that the awesome Dan Savage started It Gets Better. So, I learned something today, too. You are making some (joyfulmad) noise against homophobia and transphobia!
    brendurbanist at gmail dot com

  15. Thanks for comments, all! I'm tickled that this "hop" in particular is popular, spread the links far and wide, please!

  16. Love your post :)


  17. The first thing I saw was where the parent wouldn't send her kind to school on Gender Bender Day and as I was reading I realized how stupid people are. Thank you for taking part in the hop!
    sstrode at scrtc dot com

  18. Thank you for the great post, loved it.

    peggy1984 at live dot com

  19. I went to check out the It Gets Better Project again, because I like to see how it's spreading, so I check on it occasionally, and so far 562,696 have taken the pledge! Over half a million and counting, which totally rocks!! Thanks for the awesome post, one of the most entertaining ones I've read, and thanks for participating!