Thursday, November 14, 2013

SM Johnson ~ This place called Earth ~

Feeling melancholy. Some of it has to do with work stuff that can't be talked about here; some if it has to do with having just worked a couple of night shifts and being just plain out tired; mostly it is probably the dread of the oncoming winter, and feeling like I'm really struggling with my NaNo novel - how nothing is really clicking along yet.

Well, you know, the porn part is going fine. It's the PLOT that seems to be missing. (Growl).

I should probably go read some Nanowrimo Pep Talks, hmm?

I am, and always will be, a "pants" writer - meaning I start with a character and a problem or situation, and a fairly good idea of where that character will wind up, in the end. And then I just enjoy the journey alongside my characters, letting them go where they go and do what they do - which very often surprises me.

Somewhere between the fact that it is the month of 50,000 word November and the fact that I've spent the last two day times sleeping - my house is a wreck. I really need to clean my room, and put some laundry away, and clean floors. Ugh.

Oh! I almost forgot...

This happened: Ten-year-old Sprite did chores and saved her money for several weeks, wanting to get 2nd holes put in her ears. And finally it happened, she believed she had enough money (and did, for the cheap earrings), and I had the weekend off. So I took her to Claire's at the mall to get more holes put in her head, because one can never have enough of those... The mall was - oh, how shall I say it? Overstimulating? A fucking zoo? I felt frenzied and stressed the whole time we were there.

I am becoming more isolative than I've ever been, I think, because I hated the whole ordeal. From the ten minutes it took looking for a parking spot, to the shop not being in the part of the mall I thought it was in and having to walk for what felt like FOREVER - and to Claire's being it's own little pocket of overcrowding - too man people too much stuff too much noise... and their "public" piercing station - egads!

It's no wonder Sprite's 2nd holes were terribly uneven. How can ANYONE possibly think or concentrate in the middle of so much chaos?

She got the piercings on Saturday. By Sunday morning, it was apparent that the 2nd earring was much higher on her left ear lobe than the one on her right ear lobe. I kind of shrugged and figured it wasn't a big deal.

But Sprite was teased in school about it (Oh, I would NEVER want to be in 5th grade again, EVER), and came home just sobbing.

The crux of it? "They're crooked, mom. I saved for a long time and spent ALL MY MONEY on this, and was really looking forward to it, and they're so uneven that I got teased all day."

Sigh. Poor kid. Disappointment sucks.

Sometimes Earth, in general, really sucks.

I know exactly how she feels, actually. Once I went to a tattoo hack and got my dream tattoo. And it turned into a pussy mess and, ultimately, an unrecognizable black splotch on my back. It required an actual visit to an actual doctor, and the taking of hefty antibiotics, to avoid a staph infection. It required re-tattooing six months later (bless the heart of a wonderful, non-hack, tattoo artist). It's now magnificent, but those months wherein it was an ugly black splotch? Ugh. I wouldn't care to re-visit that again.

So yeah. I know about saving for something, feeling really excited about it, and then being totally let down.

I told her to take the earrings out and let them heal, and a month or so down the road, we'll go visit my favorite tattoo artist... because he knows piercing stuff as well as ink.

But since I'm kind of melancholy and weepy, I thought I'd share with you this amazing thing (artwork?) that tipped me over the edge and left me sobbing. WARNING: this made me CRY, out loud, for real. Literally, not figuratively. The Battle We Didn't Choose: My Wife's Fight With Breast Cancer.

Click that baby at your own risk. I might suggest AFTER you locate a box of tissues.

Peace, darlings, hope you have a great weekend.

1 comment:

  1. Aww, poor Sprite. : ( I really feel for her. To have saved all that time, only to have someone mess it up for her...either through incompetence (at best) or total indifference. Sorry you're having a tough time, too, S.M., hope this week is better so far.